So I’ve been very proud of myself for the past month. I’ve been good about just eating well, keeping my portions reasonable, and not indulging much in sweets. I went three weeks without any ice cream, which is huge for me. I love ice cream (I have a solid four ice cream makers in my house as well as a mini-waffle cone maker, if that’s any indication). I lost about 7 or 8 pounds in this period of time, and I’m pleased.
Unfortunately, life and physiology have a way of tripping one up, well, at least ME. So along comes PMS, that ogre that sneaks up and makes me irritable and chocolate-craving, and I suddenly had to have sweets. I managed to get through OK, but then my husband wanted to eat endless shrimp at Red Lobster. I ate a simple salad with a light dressing and had roasted vegetables. I had grilled shrimp. But I did give in and eat one of those darn biscuits. And I had one serving of “breaded” (aka fried) shrimp. I still did OK. Then that night I just sat down and snacked and snacked on crackers and sent myself way past my allotment of calories. DANG IT!
The next day I did OK, and then I snacked too much at the very end of the day. DANG IT AGAIN!
So for the past five or six days, I have not felt as “in control” as I had for the previous four weeks. Now I’m about to head off on a long weekend trip (flying to two different destinations) during which I know I will not have time to exercise, and who knows what I’ll be faced with in terms of food. Right now, my main goal is to just keep myself in check, but I know I won’t be losing any weight. I’ll just need to be fairly reasonable and maintain.
Even so, I’d like to get myself back into gear now that the PMS is over and before I go off on this trip during which I will definitely be exhausted from flights and time differences and just not “strong” and at the top of my game. This is where my mindset has everything to do with everything food. I’m tired again and have a lot on my mind and am finishing up on my book project, which has me rattled. I’m scared to death of what’s going to come of it (I’ve faced so much failure when it comes to the publishing world that I’m already psyched out about being rejected again on a project I feel strongly about and have worked really hard on), and that’s contributing to my weakness in “willpower.” Last week, hormones led me a little away from the right path, and now fear is threatening to keep me sidelined. This is where long-entrenched habits come into play. Get nervous, get frustrated, get tired? Eat.
Nope, I must get back in the saddle again. I must climb back on the wagon. I must just make a fresh start. I can do this. I am going to say, yes, I am scared silly about the book, I’m nervous, I’m unsure of myself, my confidence is shot. But that doesn’t mean that my body and my self deserve for me to abandon them in this hour of need. I can still try again and just say that today is a new day.
Here goes. Wish me luck.